


The Gods Hate Kansas

by out_there



Category: Smallville
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-01-26
Updated: 2003-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-11 20:01:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/116503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/out_there/pseuds/out_there
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, a bad day only starts out that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gods Hate Kansas

**Author's Note:**

> This is a combined answer to Celli's [taxfic challenge](http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=celli&itemid=92270) and the [Pulp Fan Fiction Project](http://www.fandomnation.com/fastloose.html). Thanks to everyone who put with me whining about writing this. Everyone knows that the characters don't belong to me, but it isn't beta-read, so the grammar mistakes do.

Sitting in the Talon, laptop open and papers spread across the low table in front of him, Lex was not impressed. It was Friday afternoon, and his plans for the weekend consisted mainly of finding out where the hell the receipts for November had disappeared to. Combined with a day that had been a nightmare of disorganisation, he was starting to reconsider the entire idea of being the new, responsible, upstanding Lex Luthor. Admittedly his wilder youth had had its bad side and his father had probably been right. It would have led to either his death or bankruptcy, or both. But he'd never had to worry about taxes.

Today, Lex was sick of sitting inside offices, so he'd decided to take advantage of the desertion of the Talon during school hours, and work at a half hidden table at the back. He hadn't taken into account the constant, incessant, annoying interruptions from various staff members. They just didn't seem to realise that, sometimes, all Lex wanted was to be left alone. He had his laptop, he had his calculator, he had his pen, and he had an incomplete collection of documents. He didn't need whoever was standing in his light, casting shadows over the table.

"Go away," Lex said, and didn't bother looking up from the paperwork spread before him. One more perky waitress trying to take his order or one more hopeful smile from Lana was all it would take to make him snap. If that happened, he couldn't be held accountable for his actions. They had brought it on themselves.

Shuffling through slightly smudged receipts, Lex waited for the shadow to leave. He must have been too subtle. He wondered if this obliviousness was something Smallville related, or just waitress related. "No, I don't want anything to drink. Yes, I will be able to sort out the receipts. And, no, there is nothing you can do to help. Now, go away." The shadow remained.

"In that case, I won't take your bad mood personally," Clark said. Lex looked up to see 6'4" of flannel clad farmboy sit down opposite him. Just what he needed. Not that having Clark around was such a bad thing, but numbers and distractions were never a good mix. They led to problems that involved auditors or Dominic. "Having a bad day?" Clark asked, looking genuinely concerned. Or he did, until Lex saw the glint of amusement in hazel eyes.

Lex repressed the urge to sigh as he tried to remember where he was up to, and turned his full attention to Clark. Obviously, Clark already knew something. He might as well get this over and done with. "Clark, today has not been a bad day. Today has been a disaster. Today is proof that Smallville is cursed. Probably all of Kansas, too."

"That bad, huh?" Clark's lips only twitched slightly. He appeared to be trying very hard to hide his glee.

"It's no laughing matter. Your ancestors angered the gods, and today I've suffered the full power of their smiting." He wasn't being melodramatic. Maybe he was exaggerating slightly. Maybe.

"You've been smitten?" Clark asked.

"Probably smited. Or smote." Lex couldn't help answering Clark's grin with a smirk of his own. Really, it was impossible to stay in a bad temper around that smile. "You know what happened?"

"Chloe told me." Lex should have realised. With so many locals working at the plant, the whole town would know by tomorrow. Or earlier. Clark continued, "It wasn't that bad, was it, Lex? Chloe's dad said that it's all been cleared up and should be fine by Monday."

"Someone dumped a truckload of manure outside my office window. I can't describe how bad that is." Clark was unsuccessfully trying to suppress his sniggering. "Some smells never leave." He waited for Clark's laughter to subside back to a grin.

"Sorry, but you've got to see the funny side of it," Clark said, trying not to burst into laughter again. At least Clark was laughing to his face. Lex couldn't help the snide thought that the rest of the town would be doing so behind his back.   
"Give me a couple of years. Then I'll be able to look back," Lex paused. He doubted he'd be able to laugh. An error this ridiculous was simply tragic. Not quite the level of Medea, or a stock market crash, but still a tragedy. The apparent intelligence of his average worker was frighteningly low. "And say that this was the day which proved that the gods hate Kansas." Clark looked sceptical. He'd see. Lex could hold a grudge against this day for years, decades if need be.

"Still, it was nice of you to give everyone the afternoon off." After the mess had been cleaned up, Lex had stormed out of his office, and told Gabe that they could all go home. Trust Clark to see it as an act of charity, instead of a sign that Lex had simply had enough for one day.

"It was that, or fire them all on the spot. I'm still deciding."

A mischievous Clark leaned across the table. "You can't fire everyone Lex," Clark whispered conspiratorially.

"Why not?"

Clark replied dryly, "Then you'd have to do it all yourself." The comment was delivered with a quick flash of a smile and the look in Clark's eyes was a clear invitation for Lex to be part of the fun.

Lex realised that regardless of Smallville's curse, Clark must be blessed. It wasn't easy to get a Luthor to smile when things went wrong. "True." Perhaps today wasn't a complete disaster. "Do you want something to drink?" Lex asked as he waved one of the waitresses over. He was unimpressed when she ignored him and headed out the back.

"Um, Lana said that you've been growling at the staff for hours. I don't think they're going to be fighting over who serves you. Over who has to serve you, maybe... but not in a good way," Clark said. Lex wondered how Clark managed to look amused and apologetic at the same time. "So...?" Clark gestured vaguely at the papers between them.

"So I'm not going to get any coffee here." Lex looked over at the noise by the doorway. A group of Clark's classmates were walking in, a few of the footballers tying to work out who wanted what. "But I am going to catch the after-school rush. No offence, Clark, but I think this would be easier at my place." He herded the scraps of paper and receipts into a folder. He was putting it into his briefcase when he noticed that Clark's friends hadn't arrived with the other teens. "Are Chloe and Pete meeting you later?"

"They're spending this weekend organising the Torch's archives," Clark said as Lex packed up his laptop.

"I could understand Chloe's enthusiasm but why did Pete volunteer?" Lex doubted that even the appeal of spending a weekend alone with the effervescent Miss Sullivan could make up for spending it filing.

"I'm thinking blackmail," Clark said, grinning at Lex, "but I don't have any proof."

"If you're not planning on staying around, do you want you a lift home?" Lex was certain that there was no hidden meaning to the question. It was simply a friendly gesture, but Clark grabbed his backpack, and suddenly beamed at him as if he'd offered him the Porsche, instead of just a ride in it. Interesting.

"Sure. So what were you working on?" Clark asked as they left the rapidly filling Talon.

"It's tax season." It was a bit of a non-sequiter, but from the distaste that skated across Clark's face, the implications were not wasted on him. He unlocked the Porsche and almost threw the briefcase into the trunk. The laptop and backpack were placed in the car.

"Wouldn't you have an accountant for that stuff?" Clark said as he sat down. Clark seemed curious, and was no longer smiling at Lex's misfortune. Both were good things.

He revved the engine and drove towards the Kent farm. "Do you know how much the Talon makes?"

Clark grimaced. "Enough to cover its expenses?"

Lex nodded as they passed the flat countryside. "And not much more. Certainly not enough to warrant a professional's fees. So here I am, stuck dealing with the accounts and the missing receipts."

"And all the fun of preparing the tax return?" Clark asked.

"Income. Deductions. Depreciation. Accruals. All of it," Lex said as he shifted gears.

"Do you want a hand?" Sweet of Clark to offer, but it wasn't necessary. If Lex could pass biochemistry with flying colours, he could fill out a tax return. It was simply a case of applying himself, and finding the damned receipts.

"It isn't that bad, Clark," Lex said. Clark raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Or it's bad enough that I don't want to make someone else suffer as well."

"What about 'misery loves company'?"

"Misery may like company, but Luthors don't. When something goes wrong, they like people to fix things, or alternatively someone to blame," Lex said as he pulled into the Kent's driveway and turned off the engine.

Clark didn't seem to be a hurry to leave. "I could do that. Fix things, I mean. I could make all your problems go away."

"Really? How?" Lex was intrigued.

"Take the evening off. Come on, Lex, it's a Friday. Surely you can do this stuff over the weekend." Clark shouldn't be allowed to use puppy-dog eyes. Lex was certain that it wasn't fair. But there was no way he was giving in to Clark as easily as that.

"I'll probably be doing it over the weekend anyway but-"

"No 'but's Lex." Clark settled back in his seat, and gave Lex a serious stare. "Come in and relax. Eat junk food and watch some TV. It's guaranteed to make you feel better."

Watching TV with Clark sounded good. Then Lex remembered that Clark didn't have a TV in the loft. There was no way Lex was going to deal with Jonathan Kent today. He was fairly certain that today couldn't get much worse, but he was sure Clark's father could find a way to prove him wrong. "Clark--"

He was interrupted again. Apparently no one had told Clark that it was not a good idea to keep interrupting a Luthor. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Lex." That sounded interesting. "And the hard way will involve me getting Chloe and Lana to help convince you. They're not too busy to make a phone call or two."

Not as interesting as he'd hoped. Lex almost regretted giving Clark his cellphone number. At the time, he hadn't expected Clark to use threats of peer pressure.

Clark continued, "Besides, it's got to be a better way to spend a Friday night than sitting around the Talon scowling at everyone. Or going home and scowling at your staff."

He hadn't been scowling. He would have said glaring. "Thanks for the offer but I doubt your parents will appreciate the sentiment."

Clark shifted in his seat. "Ah, they're away this weekend. My second-cousin... Well, actually, my Dad's cousin's daughter is getting married. So they won't be back until Sunday night."

"No parties planned?" Lex asked, immediately wondering if providing more fireworks would be considered predictable.

"Not unless I want to be grounded until I'm fifty. Mom and Dad made it clear that I could only have one friend stay over. Any more than that, and..." Clark shrugged, grimacing slightly. Clark dug around in his pockets, found his keys, and fidgeted with them as he continued. "We could stay up and watch bad late night movies," and then cheerfully added, "It's a lot more fun than it sounds."

"I believe you," Lex said, "I'd like to Clark, but I really do need to get this done."

Besides the fun of taxes, it was probably not a good idea to tempt himself by being alone with Clark all night. Clark and him, alone in the flickering light of the TV, watching some B-grade horror film, sitting too close together, thighs touching... And those thoughts were not making the accounts look any more appealing. When had he become the Lex Luthor who tried not to seduce innocents? Who'd rather be responsible and do his taxes, than spend time with a pretty boy? Maybe that was the true curse of Smallville. You arrive as a normal person, and end up developing morals. God help him if he ever developed a sense of business ethics.

Lex realised that the car had been quiet while he stared at the Kent house and indulged his internal monologue. Clark was staring at him, looking as if he was trying to work out a football strategy. If nothing else, Lex had to admit that the kid could be persistent. He tried to prepare himself for whichever tactic was coming next. So far, Clark was just sitting there, watching Lex and making no attempt to leave. That could be the new scheme, just refuse to leave unless Lex came inside. It wouldn't work.

Finally Clark said, "Um... If you change your mind, just give me a call and come over." Clark paused and Lex waited to see what he'd try next. That had been too easy and Clark still looked as if he was about to score a touchdown. So when Clark turned towards him, Lex was expecting Clark to try to convince, threaten or cajole him to come inside again.

What he wasn't expecting was for Clark kiss him. For Clark to slowly lean in and press his lips to Lex's. He wasn't expecting the sensation of soft warm lips or the minty taste of Clark's mouth. He ran his fingertips over Clark's jaw to his cheek and felt the kiss slip from innocent to hungry as their tongues brushed and slid against each other. When Clark pulled back, blushing and smiling, he was left slightly breathless.

"Bye Lex." Lex watched as Clark got out of the car and walked to his porch. This was not something that Lex was used to. He was used to walking into a room full of photographers with the most stunning woman on his arm. He was used having his choice of pretty boys in bars and anonymous sex in the back of VIP rooms. He was not used to sweet afternoon kisses and being invited for sleepovers.

When Clark got to his front door, he stopped, turned around and headed back to the car. Maybe he'd noticed that Lex was still sitting here, smiling like a fool and thinking that with time, he could get used to kisses like that.

Clark smiled sheepishly as he opened the passenger door, reached across and said, "I, um, forgot my bag." Lex grabbed the backpack and passed it to Clark.

"I might be able to get this done tomorrow," Lex said. If he didn't, he'd pay someone out of his own pocket. There was no way he was spending all of this weekend doing tax. "So I could probably come over tomorrow night, if the offer's still open." He hadn't meant for that to sound like a question but Clark's relieved smile was all the answer he needed.

"That'd be great, Lex," Clark said and closed the car door. This time, he didn't wait for Clark to disappear inside before he took off towards the manor. Sometimes it wasn't worth pushing your luck. Besides, he still had the November receipts to track down.


End file.
